Moonrise Hernandez

The dream expands. The dream consolidates. The dream takes shape.I have decided that the only way to chase a dream is to not allow yourself to be appeased with anything short of the exactitude of what you are hoping for. It has to come in full form before you can glance off down any side roads.

I used to really enjoy all forms of appeasement, but now they seem only to distract temporarily, rather than to actually provide any sort of rest from anything.

Journaling, I've discovered, can be dangerous because I sit down to write with something on my mind that I am wrestling with, and write several pages, and then get up feeling better about everything when really, nothing has changed. Only my perspective and thoughts about it have changed. But the problem is, whatever it is I sat down to write about still remains exactly the same as it did before I wrote.

Honestly, most of what I journal about are dreams, goals, aspirations, and future goodness - but I have found that after journaling, the goal that I was shooting for suddenly seems as if it has already come and gone.  This is all fine for spiritual matters, but in the grand scheme, there are some goals and dreams that I don't want simply appeased.

So in my efforts to chase the dream, I have decided that I cannot accept any false sense of gratification in anything. I demand only the real goodness and satisfaction of identifying a goal and attaining it.

Nothing second-hand. Nothing vicarious.