My Ultimate Supergroup

Nate "Taterballs" Perry got me thinking about this, so here's my supergroup:

On drums: The one and only Todd Nance

No one I've heard plays the drums like this guy, the drummer for Widespread Panic. He cracks the snare with such precision and in such perfect time that you literally lose all control of your limbs. I have spilled or completely dropped drinks because of him. I can't stand it. It's largely due to his playing that the hand becomes a fist and inadvertently reaches for the sky.

On keys: Mac Rebennack (AKA Dr. John)

This dude lays it down in serious style. The king of N'awlins himself, Dr. John can drop them keys on them hammers in the funkiest way I have ever heard. He seems to have no framework for the way he plays, he just hits em like he knows he should. I don't know much about the piano, but this dude can sure break one.

On bass: Mike "Cactus" Gordon

This probably goes without saying, but Mike Gordon is by far the best bass player of all time. Not because he plays insane stupid pointless bass solos like Victor Wooten or Les Claypool (although he certainly can and will), but because he perfectly and precisely adds the necessary bass element to every song in such a way that it is almost impossible to detect, until you hear the midbeat thump, slap, or bounce. Then you realize you are secretly being kidnapped by an instrument you never even noticed. Seriously, if you aren't careful at a Phish show, you'll find yourself quickly underwater and unavailable to all those around you because of his bass. It's happened to me. It's cold and dark down there, but somehow there is oxygen. Also, I should note that Cactus gave me my most amazing musical moment of all time (but that's another story).

On lead guitar: Mr. Derek Trucks

Now this baby-faced kid is the secret weapon of this (and every other) supergroup (he's a key member of pretty much every decent superjam). You see him on stage, not moving much, acting kinda shy, playing the rhythms and behaving properly, never intruding on his older bandmates, but when it's his time to take the spotlight he slips that glass slide on his middle finger and absolutely tears your face off in a fury of perfected notes and screams. If a ravaged and starving wolf could play the guitar, this is what it would sound like. People don't talk when Trucks is playing a lead. They either stare in awe or completely freak out and lose their shit. Trucks, baby.

On lead vocals, guitar, and harmonica: JJ Grey

This guy is definitely the least famous of all the other members of the supergroup, but he is the only dude I would have front my band. If you have never heard Mofro, go find em. I have showed them to tons of my friends and every single time I break them out, somebody always asks, head bobbin' "Who is this?". You just can't resist em. JJ sings like a 60 year old black guy who has lived a hard life, but is happy. I've never heard a white guy sound so soulful. He sings deep, low, dirty, and funky. He can also shred the guitar and harmonica whenever he needs to. He's the perfect frontman for a southern rock supergroup.

Between Nance's beats, Dr. John's Louisiana keys, Cactus's underwater depth, Trucks' face melting solos, and Grey's southern soul, no one could resist this epic band of geniuses, which would of course be called

The West Memphis Dog Track