Damn you homeless heretic

Every time I think I’ve got things together, Aaron Reddin (who calls himself Homeless Heretic in a futile attempt to hide his true identity) ruins everything by reminding me that I am a selfish asshole.I’ll be relaxing on my porch with a cold beer and a cigar, thinking about all the upgrades I want to do on my bike and then I’ll check twitter and he’ll be out in the middle of the woods giving some sweet old homeless grandma and her puppy CPR.

Or I’ll be booking a three bedroom cabin for a long weekend of rock climbing at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch and I’ll find out he is selling his left nut to get a homeless rape victim and her newborn baby with Down’s Syndrome into a crappy hotel for a few days.

I mentioned him on Twitter yesterday and someone replied saying that he was “the nicest guy on Earth.” They obviously haven’t ever met him.

He’s a guy that’s full of love for the unloved, to be sure, but conversely, he has a fundamental disdain for anyone that doesn’t love the unloved like Jesus does. Translation: Not the nicest guy on Earth.

Yesterday I was cruising down Kavanaugh on my single speed, enjoying the weather and trying not to think about anyone but myself, when I pass a row of newstands and the Heretic himself is sitting there staring back at me from the cover of Sync Weekly.

Thanks a lot, jerk.

How am I supposed to continue being completely self absorbed when you are constantly reminding me that there are other people on the planet besides me!?!

Last night I tossed and turned in bed thinking about that picture of Susan from the Sync article and how she looks like my grandma and not some cracked out dope head with a tattoo of Satan on his face.

It’s easy to leave scab-covered crystal meth tweakers dying on the sidewalk, what’s not so easy is sleeping on my clean Egyptian cotton sheets knowing Susan is in a sweaty sleeping bag in a ratty tent getting eaten by ticks and mosquitos just a few miles away.

Somebody else on Twitter said a few days ago that Reddin should be arrested.

Sounds familiar.

No wonder they ended up killing Jesus. He ruined everybody’s easy lives too.