holy week // part three

Todays post is, again, one from the Vault. Originally posted on January 5th, 2010.I Don’t Expect You To Be A Christian

Unbelieving people seem to always have the same (or similar) viewpoint towards Christians and the ...secret agenda“ of all Christians: To make disciples of all people, everywhere. That viewpoint being one of disdain and total annoyance, because people don't want to be Christians, so leave them alone.


And I understand that completely.

And I know that Jesus did tell us to make disciples of all people, but bear with me here:

I don't expect you to be a Christian.

How could I? It's a totally insane thing to suggest, really. That someone should feel pressured to pretend that there is some sort of perfect all loving all knowing all forgiving god inside and behind all of everything.

It is ridiculous, I know. I agree. We are on the same page here.

And why would anyone care if a guy named Mike forgave them for all the crap they've done? Why is it any different if the guy's name is Jesus? Why would I care what any dead guy thinks about me? What difference does it make?

Oh, it will magically save me from hell? Well what if I don't believe in hell? Why would I care if I am saved from it or not? It's like telling someone they can be saved from the Easter bunny tearing them to shreds some night while they sleep. I'm really not worried about it.

Then the Christians might ask something like

Well, what if you are wrong?

Which is a completely stupid question. What if anyone is wrong about anything? What if I win the lottery? What if giant lobster falls out of the sky and lands on my roof? What if I married the wrong person?

It's just a bunch of stupid speculative questions. It's not philosophy, it is a kid saying ...I know you are, but what am I?“ It is pointless banter. It is the Monty Python ...I'd Like To Buy An Argument“ sketch. Waste of time.

The sad thing is, a lot of people out there have become, and will continue to become Christians, because of this nonsense.

So I say again: I do not expect you to be a Christian.


Not because of any of these stupid attempts at ...evangelism“, because you and I are both smarter than that.

No, I don't expect you to be a Christian because you've never had an experience with the Living God that, despite all your greatest efforts, you were embarrassingly unable to deny.

Most Christians don't really believe God has any power at all. Most Christians hold way too tight to the obscure verse that says something about not testing God, like it is the 11th commandment.

Well I am not so easily convinced. I don't believe anything until I've seen it for myself. And neither should you. If God doesn't want to lift a finger to show himself to me, then I don't have any interest in God.

This must be where I pissed him off, because the moment that concept really hit me, he jumped out of his nest in the clouds and rocketed towards the Earth, smashing into me at terminal velocity.

And now I can't get rid of him.

You see, he won't be denied.

But you have to open up the conversation. You have to put the money on the table. You have to brace for impact. Or don't. It is going to hit you either way.

And my friends, my silly dimwitted friends who don't jump into waters, who don't taste new foods, who don't run with their eyes closed, who don't smile in the rain, you'll never know what it's like if you don't shut your blabbering mouths and do it.

You don't need a Bible, you don't need a preacher, you don't need a rosary. You need to have a raging bloody fist-fight with the Living God. And trust me, you'll come out of it alive.

Busted, bruised, spent, and euphoric.