you know what's so crazy about god?

He uses you as a pawn as well as a rook and a bishop and a queen in the game of chess that you’re playing both as the person moving the pieces and as each piece itself.Sometimes you die. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you just get captured for awhile until the next pawn can manage to make that treacherous journey across the board to draw you back out of the pit.

The situations you’re in are both entirely about you and entirely about someone else. Sometimes your pain has very little to do with you and much more to do with those around you.

Everything that happens has 15,000 different reasons and expected outcomes, not only for you and for those around you, but for every living thing on the planet.

There is never just one thing that happens out of every circumstance in life. Every day has millions of minor explosions that cause all kinds of other minor explosions. One day one of those explosions will kill you, but not this one.

I get frustrated. I get angry. I get lonely.

We all do.

Most of us never act like it or admit it because, well, most of us never act like it or admit it.

But I am admitting it.

Sometimes I feel like the only ones fighting for me are my wife and my parents, which is great, but an army of three is an army of three.

Why doesn’t everyone just say how much they love each other? Am I the only one that seems to have drawn back the veil of superficiality and sees the dark wounded souls within people? Maybe I am, but I do find it very hard to believe.

Interesting that the only piece that can save the queen is the pawn.

When that loud, audacious queen flying all over the board finally gets what’s coming to her, no one but the lowly, hobbling pawn can ever hope to lower the rope down for the queen to climb back out. Then no one seems to notice that as the queen mantles up over the edge and back onto the chess board with cheers and much applause from the rest of the pieces, she knocks the pawn over the edge and into the depths.

I am both that queen and that pawn.